(The following is a re-post of a letter that has gone out to my mailing list)
New directions for The Visionary Passage.
Many of you know that I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease and Babesia in the summer of 2015. In December of last year, I experienced the added complication of Bell’s Palsy. It was a painful and frightening experience. Many people never experience pain with Bell’s Palsy, but I was in the camp of those that have intense, ongoing agony. I won’t sugar coat it. There were days I thought I might go mad with the pain. No modality or therapy or pain relief would touch it. I was thankful beyond words when the pain finally began to lessen, and then eventually dissipate.
There was still more to learn!
I had a self-delusion going on through the first phase of my Lyme recovery. I was a bit like a “Sunday Christian” that goes to church and mouths all the right things, but then lives the life of someone entirely different during the week. Even now, it’s not easy to admit this. I was telling myself that the healthy changes I was bringing into my life were becoming integrated into my entire being. I had assembled a stellar group of doctors, healers, and practitioners, and had made extreme changes to my diet. But, there was a significant component that was missing from my healing. I was still NOT living in resonance with my higher self.
I was giving AWAY my power; of my own free will.
While on the one hand I was “doing everything right,” I was still working for a company that I allowed to run right over me. I was working 10-15 hours a day, many times seven days a week. I let this boundary-less relationship to run me, at the very time I knew I was to be learning the lesson of self-care. How incongruent!
After my Bell’s Palsy complication, I tried to keep pushing through, even though the pain was extreme and I only had one eye that was functioning correctly. As all my work was done online and required a great deal of concentration, I was asking was too much of myself physically, emotionally, and neurologically. I was experiencing many neurological symptoms from my Lyme but was doing all I could to keep on my brave face.
Finally, in the spring, I reached my “Aha” moment one day when I could barely drag myself up the stairs to take my blood pressure. I was on the verge of calling an ambulance because I was so ill; but when I viewed the numbers on my blood pressure machine, I understood why I felt the way I did. At that moment, I realized that sudden death was a real possibility. I had a clear vision of my daughter with a newborn baby. She held the baby out to me, but I was not there to take my grandchild. In that very moment, it FINALLY dawned on me that my entire life, I had been serving everyone but myself. I had been honoring everyone but me, and the result of that was going to be missing out on being here to love on my family.
At that moment, clarity came. I resigned effective immediately from that job, for starters. Yay me! Unfortunately, that story had to get a little more dramatic before I could let go of it. The important thing is that I don’t regret any of it, as it all led to my awakening. I am thankful for every pain and discomfort. If you want to hear more, I am taking part in an Anthology that will be published in March of 2018 with the complete story of my recovery.
I was working on my second book, and remember continually being interrupted in my chain of thought as I was writing. Normally, I enter a zone when writing and am very focused. For a couple of days, I kept seeing the words, “make ART” literally swimming across my mind while I was trying to write. As a child, I considered myself highly creative, and like most of us began to lose that connection in my middle school years. I had dreams of art school, but after attending a boarding school with no art program, I never felt that I’d be admitted to a college level art program, so I let that dream slide off the page. Additionally, I was always intimidated by the artistic talent of my mother. I never felt I’d be able to live up to her ability, so why try? Ugh…the blocks we build for ourselves!
I began to gather a few supplies and spent an afternoon creating some fluid acrylic paintings. The energy that started to course through my body was electrifying. I hadn’t felt this alive and connected since I was a child. As children, we didn’t think of how we felt; we just instinctively did the things that made us happy. Why do we ever un-learn that behavior??
I was so excited about how I felt and how beautiful my art was that I shared some of them online. I was just having fun and realized that while I was creating, I was living in a state of pure, high excitement. Can you guess what happened next? Someone wanted to buy a piece of my art! And then, I got a request for two large pieces of art for a commercial space. What a crazy-good feeling. Just as crazy-good was the massive wave of creative ideas that coincided with my time in the studio (that at that time was still an office!) My health took a quantum leap forward, my face began to relax a bit more, and I noticed a perceptive difference in the vision of my right eye.
We are ALL creatives.
There was such a direct connection between what was happening when I was in that state of highest excitement and positive results across every area of my life that I had to chase that idea a bit more. What has resulted from that is a new direction in my business. I’ve come to realize that each one of us has a creative genius that is ours alone. Inside that seed of genius lies our greatest gift to ourselves and therefore, our most significant gifts to the world.
Will you join me on my journey?
If you are receiving this email, you signed up to learn what is happening in my work in the end of life field. As I shift into creativity coaching and inspiration, I understand that your needs and interests may not align with this new direction. I respect that and will not be hurt if you chose to unsubscribe. However, I would invite you along with me on this exciting new journey to see if there is something here to serve you in your life as it is right now.
As current subscribers, you will be getting a unique opportunity to learn a powerful tool for aligning with your unique purpose. After the New Year, I will be inviting a small group to join me in a fun and purpose-filled workshop that will be completely free. This tool is something that you can take with you and use every day, even in it’s simplest form. I use it consistently and never cease to be amazed and delighted with the results. This tool opens up a clear and easy to understand two-way conversation with your higher self; and on top of all that, it’s REALLY fun!
You may notice that my website is currently on vacation-mode as I create new content. You’ll be seeing information on the connection between creativity and living our highest purpose. No matter who you are, what you do for work, or what your interests are, you ARE a creative being! I love watching the floodgates open when people tap into the benefits. I hope you’ll stick around and join me on this exciting journey.
Thank you for your commitment to being your most genuine self.